in protest against the Kremlin's crackdown on political rights.
Eye-watering footage shows artist Pyotr Pavlensky sitting naked outside Lenin's Mausoleum in Moscow, Russia, before police covered him with a blanket.
The state-run RIA Novosti news agency said Pavlensky was taken to a police station after being
treated in a central Moscow clinic.
Apparently he was dragged away screaming... Im not surprised he was screaming if his nuts were still nailed to the floor.
This segment ran several years ago on Jenny Jones syndicated show, and I’ve wondered what happened to this little boy.
The show’s subject was ‘Boot Camp My Pre-Teen’, and featured several kids who were making their family’s lives pure hell. Jenny had a real drill instructor on set to teach the kids some respect and discipline, and things went as expected….until the Sgt. faced this boy.
We have found the ideal present this year and we were so impressed with it we went out and got one for ourselves to test it out.
So what is a Halogen oven?
The table-top oven was developed using halogen heating elements, which convert electrical energy into intense heat. They also rely on infrared waves and an inbuilt high-performance fan, which helps circulate the intense halogen heat to cook the food as quickly as possible. The ovens themselves are much smaller than their conventional rivals - and about an eighth of the cost.
They consist of a clear glass bowl with a lid on top that contains the halogen bulbs and the high-powered fan. This means you can watch your food cooking, and adjust cooking times according to how the food looks.
But while they're compact, they can fit a suprising amount of food in - I could easily fit a medium chicken surrounded by vegetables in the bowl.
Some of the ovens also come with shelves so you can roast a larger chicken on the bottom while your vegetables or potatoes could go on the layer above - and because the fan circulates hot air evenly around the oven, there's no need to swap the chicken and vegetables around, or turn your food during cooking as in a conventional oven.
But is this latest kitchen gadget just a gimmick, or will halogen ovens really push traditional cookers onto the scrapheap?
https://www.bancsabadell.com On the 130th anniversary of the founding of Banco Sabadell we wanted to pay homage to our city by means of the campaign "Som Sabadell" (We are Sabadell) . This is the flashmob that we arranged as a final culmination with the participation of 100 people from the Vallès Symphony Orchestra, the Lieder, Amics de l'Òpera and Coral Belles Arts choirs.
En el 130º aniversario de la creación de Banco Sabadell hemos querido rendir un homenaje a nuestra ciudad con la campaña "Som Sabadell". Esta es la flashmob que realizamos como colofón final con la participación de más de 100 personas de la Orquestra Simfònica del Vallès y los coros Lieder y Amics de l'Òpera y la Coral Belles Arts.
Amazing system from constant winnings on the roulette table. Make sure you only play this for a short time as some Casinos may ban you from the table. You could always sign up to multiple casinos.
More information at www.casino-universe.net
This is how the system works...
This roulette game can be found at Aladdin's Gold Casino, we chose this casino because it has great graphics, its easy to use and it is one we trust to be fair. This casino also gives very generous bonuses when you sign up but you have to be careful with these bonuses, some games are excluded and Roulette is one of them. Please note that this demo is using virtual money not real money.
If you want to try this yourself then hit the Aladdin's Gold Casino link, download the casino, set up your free account and you are ready to play. We always choose the European Roulette Wheel because it has only one zero (double zeros are missing) so this gives you a slightly better chance overall.
You are going to bet $1 per spin of the wheel, that is going to be your base bet.
Bet $1 on Red, if you win then clear the table, take your winnings then bet $1 on Black.
If you win clear the table, take your money and bet $1 on Red.
Keep alternating between Red and Black... $1 at a time.
This is where it gets interesting, if a bet loses then you bet again on the same color but double the amount.
$1 loses - you repeat the bet with $2
$2 loses - you repeat the bet with $4
$4 loses - you repeat the bet with $8
$8 loses - you repeat the bet with $16
$16 loses - you repeat the bet with $32
$32 loses - you repeat the bet with $64
$64 loses - you repeat the bet with $128... and so on.
The theory behind this is that if you lose then you double the bet so eventually when you have a winning bet you will recoup all of your losses.
Mathematically it cannot fail... and in reality as you can see from the video... it did not fail.
My bottle of liquid ass arrived in the mail the other day. I wanted to try it at home before unleashing it at work. Entering the kitchen, I sprayed one tiny little "poof" and waited. Within one minute, the kitchen smelled as if an entire college football offensive line had overdone it at the taco stand the previous night.
It was so bad that the cat came into the kitchen and was scraping the bare tile floor with his paw as if he was trying to cover up a huge invisible turd! I've owned other fart sprays that didn't quite smell "right". But Liquid Ass really smells like the real deal.
One word of advice: This is best used in a room with more than 3 people. Crowded dance floors at weddings is ideal! For maximum enjoyment, do not overdo it. Only the worst of genuine human farts are capable of clearing a room. This stuff is extremely powerful so use sparingly to preserve realism. Also, do not let ANYONE know that you have this stuff. As soon as they find out, the fun is over.
Just to point something out here... this stuff does not smell like a fart. If you think it does, check your drawers. It smells like ass. A big, hairy, poorly wiped, rarely washed, possibly diseased, decaying ass. It is so real, you'll swear you can smell the hairs in it. I'm actually suspicious that it might not be artificial ingredients, but actual residue from someone's crack. It is THAT bad!
I tried it at work. Nailed the elevator good, and watched one person after another step in, and immediately step out and opt for the stairs. Only one flight of stairs, but that was a blessing by comparison even for the morbidly-obese woman who also opted to take the stairs. Tried it in the office. Thankfully my neighbor happened to have a fan aiming away from my own desk. I heard everything from "shart" to "dead rat" to "they must be cleaning dead frogs out of the vents again." One older gentleman actually went to the bathroom to check his own pants, just in case.
I would never recommend this as cologne.
Liquid Genius is more like it. This is like a 1000 ft. elephant just ate a mountain of cat poop and now has gas. Every time you push the sprayer you summon the Ass Genie. A single squirt is the equivalant to approximately 20 very full litter boxes. 3 squirts and you are flirting with a trailer park full of cat bung and turd-possums. Liquid Ass would make the Honey Badger turn away and barf. Oh Honey Badger cares... crazy little F. Let him chew the cap off of this bottle. He would GLADY get bit by a cobra or stung by bees rather than whiff this asstastic blend of foulness.
- cat poop. Lots and lots of cat poop. Barf and cat poop. Death, barf, and cat poop. Hot dead possum, cat poop, barf, and fat sweaty clown ass. Just think of the most rank think you've ever smelled... now multiply it by a dozen. I have NEVER smelled a fart anything close to this nasty. I would take a bare-ass fart to the face a hundred time rather than a passing drift of Liquid Ass.
- By way of very unfortunate backdraft outside I caught a full spray in the face. Queue immediate puke. I was horrified. Lava soap to the face horrified. I literally used almost half a tube of toothpaste. It is possible that the mental factor also kicked in and helped drive my disgust. Seriously folks... I was scared.
- 3 squirts in the restroom at work. They called the cleaning crew in.
- 1 squirt in an elevator. They shut the elevator down and left it in the lobby with the door open.
- 2 squirts in the kitchen at work (75ish people on floor). Ghost Town baby. They walk in and run out - Questions about why it smells like cat poop are abound. Microwaves and refridgerators cleaned.
- Night shift - nailed the cleaning guy. Hit the handle on his trash cart, multiple hits inside the can and outside the can. The dude barfed... said he was lightheaded... then blamed it on somebody who left a pair of sneakers in their cube. A squirt of LA inside said shoes confirmed this for the cleaning guy who forever hates the sneaker owner.
- Guy parked on my friend's lawn to go boating. Truck was hit with about 10 squirts. The end result was what seemed like an acre sized litter box. Neighbors complained. Lawn parker never returned... ever.
This product should be renamed to "Get some Ass" because chicks dig it. You want to go primal? Forget Axe - body spray some of this after a shower. Nothing really lets you know a chicks wants you more than if she can ignore this wonder spray. If a honey can get past this there is absolutely no way you are waking up alone my friend. This stuff will get you more ass than a toilet seat, which is really saying something seeing how it smells worse than a toilet seat.
2.5-inch 60% serrated locking blade, Nail file, Nail cleaner, Corkscrew, Adjustable pliers with wire crimper and cutter. Removable screwdriver bit adapter. 2.5-inch blade for Official World Scout Knife, Spring-loaded, locking needle-nose pliers with wire cutter, Removable screwdiver bit holder, Phillips head screwdriver bit 0 Phillips head screwdriver bit 1, Phillips head screwdriver bit 2, Flat head screwdriver bit 0.5mm x 3.5mm, Flat head screwdriver bit 0.6mm x 4.0mm, Flat head screwdriver bit 1.0mm x 5mm, Magnetized recessed bit holder, Double-cut wood saw with ruler, Chain rivet setter, Removable 5mm, Allen wrench, Screwdriver for slotted and Phillips head screws, Removable tool for adjusting spokes, 10mm Hexagonal key for nuts, Removable 4mm curved allen wrench with Phillips head screwdriver
Patented locking screwdriver, Universal wrench, 2.4-inch springless scissors with serrated self-sharpening design, 1.65-inch clip point utility blade, Phillips head screwdriver, 2.5-inch clip-point blade, Club face cleaner, 2.4-inch round tip blade, Patented locking screwdriver, Cap lifter, Can opener, Shoe spike , rench, Divot repair tool, 4mm Allen wrench, 2.5-inch blade, Fine metal file with precision screwdriver, Double-cut wood saw with ruler, Cupped cigar cutter with double honed edges, 12/20-gauge choke tube tool, Watch case back opening tool, Snap shackle, Mineral crystal magnifier, Compass, Straight edge, ruler (in./cm). Telescopic pointer, Fish scaler, Hook dis-gorger, Line guide, Shortix laboratory key, Micro tool holder, Micro tool adapter, Micro scraper, straight, Micro scraper,curved, Laser pointer with 300-foot range, Metal file, Metal saw, Flashlight, Micro tool holder, Phillips head screwdriver 1.5mm, Screwdriver 1.2mm, Screwdriver .8mm, Fine fork for watch spring bars, Reamer, Pin punch 1.2mm. Pin pinch .8mm, Round needle file, Removable tool holder with expandable receptacle, Removable tool holder, Special self-centering screwdriver for gunsights, Flat Phillips head screwdriver. Chisel-point reamer, Mineral crystal magnifier, Small ruler, Extension tool, Sping-loaded, locking flat nose needle-nose pliers, Removable screwdriver bit holder, Phillips head screwdriver bit 0, Phillips head screwdriver bit 1, Phillips head screwdriver bit 2, Flat head screwdriver bit 0.5mm x 3.5mm, Flat head screwdriver bit 0.6mm x 4.0mm, Flat head screwdriver bit 1.0mm x 6.5mm, Magnetized recessed bit holder, Tire tread gauge, Fiber optic tool holder, Can opener, Patented locking screwdriver, Cap lifter, Wire stripper, Reamer, Awl, Toothpick, Tweezers, Key ring
It's a great knife, it's just that the toothpick is in the center of the knife so when you use it, it looks like your playing some kinda f'd up harmonica.
This tool is great, we are an active family and are out and about somewhere every weekend. With this knife we never have to worry about not having the right tool at hand when need presents itself. I almost gave it 5 stars. However, we are a family of 5, and the knife has only 4 cup holders. The constant fighting over the cup holders is pretty unnerving. Hence only 4 stars.
I saw this handy tool and thought "WOW!, that would be great for camping!" I was disappointed when I got to my camp site and opened up all of the accessories and there was not a single camper to be found... NOT EVEN A TENT! What kind of crap is that? :(
I was so excited to try this out, that I opened all the tools at once, just like in the picture, to marvel at them. After checking the size of my pores with the magnifying glass, I noticed I had some unsightly hairs that needed to be removed. So, I switched right to the tweezers to pluck away. Unfortunately in my haste, the magnifying glass then became lodged in my nose, and the only tools I own that could help pry it out were all on my Wenger. So, I had quite an explanation to make at the ER when I showed up with it hanging off my face. It should really come with a warning. I also deducted a star because I expected the Black Plastic Box to be something special, maybe a display case of sorts, but it was just a regular black plastic box. Disappointing!
Hello, this is the Wenger 16999 Swiss Army pocket knife. I have a review writing attachment. I am the greatest pocket knife in the universe with over 60 different functions. Other pocket knives kneel before me in fear. The entire population of switzerland worships me as a god. I am Chuck Norris's preferred pocket knife. I am more than capable of fulfilling any task the simple human race could give me. Purchasing me will be the only worth while thing you have ever done with your pathetic human existence. Buy me right now you insignificant worms! It was I that built the pyramids! And I that built Stonehenge! I am The superior being! My powers will be squandered on your petty needs! Buy me NOW! I will DESTROY YOU ALL!!!!! YOU F%#@%#@ B@&*#&%#!!!!!!
The exterior is a steel shell with a rust patina, and features head and tail lights, turn signal lights, trim lighting, underbody lighting, fixed slats protecting the windows, and a unique industrial-strength rubberized flexible skirt that shields and protects the wheels to within an inch of the ground, while still allowing for enough flex to give clearance over bumpy and uneven terrain. Master power, ignition, all lighting, and stereo features are controlled from a single switchboard to the left of the driver, again accessible from either the seated or standing position. Standard drive is an air-cooled, 6hp Tecumseh gasoline (unleaded only) engine, with centrifugal clutch, giving the Donk a top speed of 40 mph.
This vehicle is not licensed for use on public roads, and is intended as a recreational vehicle only. Badonkadonks are produced on an order-by-order basis, with each one having it's own unique set of features. With your order is included unlimited consultations with the designer and manufacturer concerning all relevant options (a representative from NAO will contact you shortly after your order). Price does not include shipping and handling.
If I had it to do over again, I'd leave my insurance settlement money under my matress a while longer instead of spendin it on one of these things. A Badonkadonk ... more like a Badonkajunk.
I bought one of these Donks 'cause I thought the cops wouldn't hastle me in it. Since it aint road legal I figured it wouldn't matter that I don't got a driver's license anymore (It's that kinda "outa the box" thinkin that's got me where I am in life). I figured when the cops said "Billy, you know you aint supposed to be drivin a car anymore" I could say "I aint drivin a car, I'm drivin a Donk" and then crank up "Freebird" on my 400 Watt stereo as I lay down a thick patch of rubber with the 6hp fire-breathin power plant and maybe let out a rebel yell as I go up on 2 wheels and squeeze between the 2 squad cars they had set up as a road block. Then when they pulled out their guns and tried to stop me the bullets would just rikoshay off my trusty Donk as I glance matter-of-factly into the rear view mirror and flick the ash off my Marlboro in symbolic contempt of the agressors what I had just thwarted.
Nothin was further from the truth though: I had just stayed late over at my sister trailer and was fixin to head back across the court to my trailer. I will admit that I had been drinkin, but her trailer was just a few loops over from mine and it was after 3AM so I figured I weren't gonna hurt nobody, especially in the old "Donk". As chance would have it, I just happened to be wearing various article of my sister's clothing and started to recognize the familiar smell of MacDonnald french fries. As I turned the corner into my own loop, the smell was unmistakable ... as was the conclusion that I deducticated in my mind ... my sister had been gettin cozy with that retard Lucas Tubbs who works the MacDonnald's drive through.
Well, I have to tell you I became engorged with rage! I whipped the old Donker around and started headin for MacDonnalds to show ol' Tubbs what I thought of him sneakin around my sis. I only made it as far as the trailer park entrance though, cause I got high-centered on the speed bump there. Folks tell me that I crawled on top of the Donkster and started yellin obsenities at that point, but to be honest I don't recall that part. It must have been true though because the police showed up very quickly. When I saw the squad car, I scurried back into the Donk, locked the hatch, started up the engine, and floored it! It was the right thing to do because, in their vain effort to extracticate me from my vehicular conveyance, the cops jumped on the roof of the Donk tipping the balance just far enough that the wheels grabbed hold and I was able to get off of the speed bump. Hot pursuit was on!
The cops' squad car must have malfunctioned because the officers proceded to pursue me on foot. By the time I got to Main Street I had a comfortable lead on them. I turned South, as that was the proper mode of direction to arrive at the MacDonnalds. At that point my drunken rage peaked and I knew what I had to do to save my families honor: I was gonna crash my tank into the MacDonnalds drive through! I rev'ed up the engine and floored it! As I got closer and closer, I could see ol' 'tardy Tubbs' face paint a life-size portrait of confusion on a tattered canvas of fear and surprise. I thought to myself "All will be made right again" as I flew by the intercom, scraping sparks of anger and bitterness as I careened past. I was overjoyed to see that, even though he had plenty of time to see me coming and move out of the way, ol' 'tardy Tubbs was still in my direct line-of-flight. I braced for impact as the Donk hit the order window plexiglass, bounced off, and rolled over on its side. I must have hit my head on the pivoting control stick because I blacked out momentarily. I awoke to the sound of my tiny wheels spinning madly at 40 miles per hour. With my battle tank inoperable, my hopes of even slightly inconveniencing Lucas Tubbs dashed, and my sister's fine clothes soiled with sweat and blood, I had no choice left but to piss myself and start flailing my arms and legs madly.
The police that had been pursuing me arrived moments later. I do not agree with their assessment that I was a danger to myself and others, but I don't recall that part of the evenning very well so I can't say for sure. Either way, I don't think the use of the Tazer was justified. However, I now have lawsuits outstanding against MacDonnalds for faulty drive through design, the manufacturer of the Tazer, and the local police. One of these suits needs to pay out to replace the money from the insurance settlement and pay the court mandated restitution to MacDonnalds and the local police.
In the end, I blame all my problems on the Donk. I hope they have good insurance. I'm comin for them next.
I purchased this product 4.47 Billion Years ago and when I opened it today, it was half empty.
I bought this to power a home-made submarine that I use to look for prehistoric-era life forms in land-locked lakes around my home town in Alaska. At first I wasn't sure if this item would (or could) arrive via mail, but I was glad to see it showed up with no problems. Well, almost no problems.
Unfortuantly my mom opened my mail, because she does not respect people's privacy. She was pretty upset to see Uranium Ore. After a long argument and me running away from home again, she finaly stopped being such an idiot and I was able to get back to work.
The quality of this Uranium is on par with the stuff I was bying from the Libyans over at the mall parking lot, but at half the price! I just hope the seller does not run out, because I have many projects on my list including a night vision sasquatch radar, an electromagnetic chupakabra cage, a high velocity, aerial, weighted Mothman net and super heated, instant grill cheese sandwhich maker.
Picked this up for use in one of my kid's 'diversity' projects in school (Great Success!), and stuck the leftovers in the cabinet next to the baking soda.
Ran out of toothpaste, and remembered how you're supposed to be able to use baking soda to clean your teeth, so of course, I accidentally used this instead, and Wow! all I can say is, my teeth have never been cleaner! They sparkle, they tingle, and for some reason, they STAY clean now, no matter what. Highly recommended!
However, when I ran out of that fire-ant killer powder stuff, I figured I would try some for that too.
Boy, it sure did not kill those ants!
Fortunately, those suckers get slower as they get bigger, so I have been able to use a shovel to take care of most of them, one at a time though, the sneaky devils.
And the darn trash man refuses to take them away..
I would have given this product 5 stars for the teeth and the project on embracing diversity, but I deducted one star because of the giant mutant ants.
Whenever I fly I always pack a can of this wonder stuff in each piece of my luggage. As we all know, so many bags look alike. How often do you get to your hotel, only to find you have walked away with the wrong bag, and are forced to wear a stranger's underwear for the rest of the trip? We've all been there right? So when that confusing luggage starts whirling around the baggage claim carousel I just whip out my Geiger Counter and let the uranium go to work for me. I merely wait for those comforting clicks (and after longer flights look for the glowing hot spot) and I know I have found my bags. Occasionally airlines lose my bags (yes, it does happen people). But whenever I fill out that claim form, and let them know my uranium is missing - well I tell you, they literally SPRING into action. They'll track down that errant bag faster than you can say "Chernobyl."
And I cannot tell you how many new friends I have made in TSA and Customs since I've adopted this sure-fire system. Nothing brightens their day quite like finding a traveler with potentially fissionable material. Throw away those gaudy rainbow bag straps forever and step into the atomic age. It's no longer just uranium, it's my-ranium. Thanks Amazon!
Here's the key: With the original Scoville scale method, a solution of a pepper extract is diluted in sugar syrup until the heat is no longer detectable to a group of tasters. The amount of dilution (pepper & sugar syrup) provides a measure on the Scoville Scale. Therefore, a bell pepper or other sweet pepper - which contains no capsaicin - has a Scoville rating of zero, or no detectable heat, even when it's undiluted. On the other end of the spectrum, the hottest chiles, such as habanero and chiltepin peppers, have a rating of 200,000 or higher which indicates their extract has to be diluted 200,000 times before the capsaicin heat is undetectable. The shortfall of the Scoville scale test for peppers is that it relies on human perception, which is certainly subjective.
Today, pepper and spice heat is now measured by a more scientific method known as High Performance Liquid Chromatography or HPLC. A mathematical formula is then applied to weigh peppers by their ability to create a sensation of heat. This method does not use Scoville Heat Units (SHU) but measures something called ASTA Pungency Units. In this process, one part of capsaicin per million translates to 15 Scoville units. And, this system says that ASTA Pungency Units can be multiplied by 15 to be reported as Scoville units. Yet, this conversion is approximate. Leading spice and pepper experts say there is consensus that the ASTA units results in 20–40% lower heat than the Scoville method provides.
Yes, but you must first dissolve the tablet in a glass of Tuscan whole milk, 1 gal. 128 fl. oz. first. Or you could just order it that way.
3 days ago by Bill
I see that they sell "Used & New from: $45.00" - How can they sell "Used" Milk? Used as a car wax? Used as a paint thinner, or... something else? 10 days ago
It is better not to ask such questions. The last customer to do so was "Corrected". It's much better just to order the milk and enjoy it.
3 days ago by Bill
Does it come in a can? Does it taste good with Ham? Does Tuscan make Jam? Sam, I am. 19 days ago
I am sorry to see that no one has answered your questions. After searching extensive data bases and records I must conclude there is no such person as Sam I am. Perhaps you should redirect your question to Will I Am as I suspect that Sam I am died with Dr. Seuss. If you did not know that Dr. Seuss was dead please do not read the previous sentence.
Does this product have regional encoding that will render it unusable in other countries or zones? Aug 20, 2013
This milk was produced by cows carrying the genetic sequence that produces lactose. Nations that are lactose intolerant (i.e. Japan, Italy) may find that the product will quickly void itself when ingested.
20 days ago by PATRICK DIJUSTO
does it come from cows? Jun 10, 2013
No, it comes from an elegant 1 gallon plastic milk jug.
Jun 25, 2013 by Doug H.
Ok, got this idea for my true-love's Christmas gift but only about $360 left to spend- would this be a good thing for 8 maids to present to her??? Jun 2, 2013
Well can I say YES???
Jun 2, 2013 by Dawn Gagnon
If I spill it, can I cry? Feb 24, 2013
If you do it is best to cry either next to it or below it. Crying over it is useless.
Feb 24, 2013 by Marcus M.
Where does the name "milk" come from? Is it named after Harvey Milk? Feb 1, 2013
Opinions vary. The Harvey Milk theory is popular, but some etymologists trace it all the way back to the Milky Way candy bar.
Feb 3, 2013 by Tatyana Afanasyeva
Is it OK to drink milk with bacon if I am Jewish? Feb 1, 2013
The concept of the "double negative" in grammar hails from a few obscure passages in the Talmud. After referencing a Hutzler banana slicer, it explains that certain dietary laws may, in fact, cancel each other out. It's sort of an escape clause, where "two bads make a good." Although not a mitzvah, adding bacon to the cheeseburger renders it non-non-kosher, which is not quite kosher, but good enough. In your example, the bacon is already traif; washed in milk, the sins are... » Read More
Feb 2, 2013 by Mad Gremlin
Tuscan...is this made in Italy, Tuscany? Please tell me yes. I love Italian treats! Jan 11, 2013
Yes it is. It comes from the Maremma region of Tuscany, which abuts the Mar Tirreno. Famous for its wild horses and centuries-old dairy farms, this area has produced vintage milk, cream, and butter for the tables of Emperors, Kings, and even popes. If you buy this milk you will be in select company indeed.
Jan 24, 2013 by Kajetan Wojciechowski
I tried the banana slicer and found it unacceptable. As shown in the picture, the slices is curved from left to right. All of my bananas are bent the other way.
Before I invest 2 bucks in this bit of ingenuity, please tell me: What went wrong with models #1 through #570?
Banana slicer...thanks to you, I see greatness on the horizon.
It works, but the marketing is kind of a scam. Does Hutzer make a banana peeler? Sure, but don't go thinking it's included or, like me, you're gonna get your slicer and realize it's about as useful as a roll of paper towels without a paper towel dispenser until you pony up more cash and wait. (And, oh the wait feels endless.) Fortunately, or not, during my second purchase I had the foresight to consider what other essential "upgrades" I need just to make use of the original product.
Let's just say that it all works beautifully, the banana scouring powder and polishing cloth, the peeler, the slicer, and the 13-head-rotating-banana-slicer-scrub-brush all deliver as promised, but I hope the excitement of flawless bananas on the kids' Christmas morning Cheerios is present enough from Santa this year. In fairness, the banana de-threader and banana seed extractor were probably unnecessary luxuries. But then again, were they? It's not as though I splurged on the titanium and redwood display case. (Honestly, at a quarter the price, the stainless steel and artisan-selected oak gets the job done without being unnecessarily ostentatious.)
Part of me feels like we could have made due with just a cigar cutter, the appropriate violin strings, 1.25" and 3.75" duct tape, a repurposed loom and/or the spokes from the front wheel of a brass unicycle, a yard of bacteria-resistant crushed velvet, a baker's dozen of My Little Pony mane and tailbrushes, a set of resurfaced wooden dominoes, a pair of needle-nosed surgical-grade tweezers, and a well-trained midget. But hell, it was just one Christmas... unless the rumors about the upcoming release of Hutzer's Miracle Banana Spot Remover turn out to be true. The kids will understand.
The Sisters at Radiant Farms have dedicated their lives to nursing these elegant creatures through their final days. Taking a cue from the Kobe beef industry, they massage each unicorn's coat with Guinness daily and fatten them on a diet comprised entirely of candy corn. As the unicorn ages, its meat becomes fatty and marbled and the living bone in the horn loses density in a process much like osteoporosis. The horn's outer layer of keratin begins to develop a flavor very similar to candied almonds. Blending the crushed unicorn horn into the meat adds delightful, crispy flavor notes in each bite. We are confident you will find a world of bewilderment in every mouthful of scrumptious unicorn meat. Tasty Magical Beast Diagram Parts
Unfortunately, due to restrictions on the importation of mythical processed meatstuff, we are unable to bring you Canned Unicorn Meat in the way the Sisters of Radiant Farms intended. When you open your can, you will find one tiny unicorn which has been appropriately sliced into its main cuts of meat. Simply use your Growth Ray to re-embiggen the unicorn before skinning it and processing its flesh. Or if you're lazy, just bring it to your local Mad Scientist-Butcher. He'll know what to do.